Never truly loved
Never ever tried
I felt every loss,
Truth in every lie
Have I ever really hugged
Tasted every cry
No,
I've never really cried
Cuz,
I stuffed it all up deep down inside
Cat, ha
Let go of my tongue
Let me unleash every lash ever flung
Please,
These nightmares cease
Playin in my dreams,
Once again let me feel young

I won't fall asleep for fear of a creeping nightmare
A recurring dream where I'm no longer a child
And while I'm awake my heart stays wrapped in laughter
Like a winter's day kept out with gloves and coats

I want a life to call my own
No more learning through palindromes
I'd take the stars if they only shone
I'll meet my makeshift family
Beneath the shade of that willow tree
And kick my sorrows as they leave

In dreaming I see the dust pile up on unused toys
While my skeleton grows and my thoughts run cohesive and poised
But wandering calls, and my eyes will steadily darken
The chattering walls will keep me company

I want a life to call my own
No more learning through palindromes
I'd take the stars if they only shone
I'll meet my makeshift family
Beneath the shade of that willow tree
And kick my sorrows as they leave

Then I woke up
I awoke on a slope with my throat cut
Blood snow red
Hold up
Both hands fulla needles and thread
But I just don't know how to sew up
Half my life was a half life like an isotope trying to grow up
Ya know what
I don't know how to handle the unknown yet the unknown knows the right time to show up
No matter what I say or what I do
Whether all these dreams are untrue or
Exactly what they seem
This view, this scene which consists of me
And my makeshift family
All of us beneath the cool shade of the willow tree
A reality of a love that's filling me up
Keep the night from killing my love but

But night, she is persistent
And the slowest times find me asleep
My dreams have grown so consistent
That this half-life spreads like lightning on the water
And the freshest days will never keep

I want a life to call my own
No more learning through palindromes
I'd take the stars if they only shone
I'll meet my makeshift family
Beneath the shade of that willow tree
They'll keep me out of that creeping dream
That keeps my child away from me
Wake me up so that I can breathe